Jelly Surprize F.C.
Player Profile
- Name - Andy Harris
- Squad Number - 8
- Nicknames - Bastard Harris & Disco Bitch
- Position - Striker
- Date of Birth -
- Caps - 100
- Goals - 240
Facinating Facts!!
- Transfer Value - £5.6m
- Favorite Food - Kebabs
- Favorite Band - Sash!
- Habitat - Essex
- Ambition - To have a well sorted Fiesta
“I love it, I absolutely love it”
Bastard Harris
Andy was not in the squad for Jelly Surpirze during the first season as he was messing about in Southampton for the summer or something. However he was soon in the fold for the remainer of the team's exsistance as he was at the University of Warwick, so lived close enough to get to the games. Although he was an invaluable player he had an unfortunate tendancy to go missing before games, or to turn up without any money for subs. Like any wayward and tempremental centre forward he needed a firm hand. This came in the shape of the manager's hand, wrapped around a rolled up copy of the Daily Star.
He gained his nickname of 'Bastard Harris' after an ex-girlfreind described him as 'when you first meet him, you think he's the most fun guy in the world. Then you get to know him,
and you realise he's a bastard.'
But we all have got to know him and he's great. So she must be a bitch or something. We all still call him Bastard Harris though, because we're cruel and are not ones to let the facts get in the way of joke. Don't know if he sees the funny side though...Look at his little face, you just want to give him a cuddle don't you?
Andy has a degree in physics, has studied for a masters in computing, has been to the army's office training colleage, Sandhurst, has driven a resturant barge, has been a property developer, worked for the tube, decided where to put bus stops in greater london and currently works for the Red Cross.
Andy usually played up front and was a lot better at football than most of the team. He scored numerous goals and took over the vital role of driving everyone to the games when Tony went to university. He formed the perfect striking partnership with Amarjit, his physical game proving the perfect foil to Amarjit's guile. Although the two of them rarely passed the ball to each other, or anyone else! The most annoying aspect of this was that he usually scored a goal, so you couldn't even shout at him. (much)